“Why Have You Made Me This Way?”
This question often comes into the minds of many people, young and old alike. Many times I have heard this question asked, by those who were uncertain about their identity and purpose.
I myself asked this question many times when I was a young and confused teenager. I went through a period of several years of searching for meaningful recognition, searching for truth and stability about my own identity.
This question, “Why Have You Made Me This Way?”, is rooted in deep confusion and discontentment with our own self-image. We ponder the question because of our multiple conflicting thoughts. One moment we are satisfied with who we are and what we like to do. The next moment, we have doubts about who we are and what our interests are.
Our thoughts are like a see-saw, up-and-down, never really settling confidently on anything. We frequently have a nagging self-doubt, wanting to double-check ourselves over everything. We look for assurance from those who love us, but there seems to be no real solid answers to overcome our confusion.
During my teenage years while in my confusion, searching for answers, I was amazed to find this question, and other similar statements, addressed in the Bible:
No, but, O man, who are you who replies against God? Shall the thing formed say to Him who formed it, “Why have you made me this way?” (Romans 9:20)
… shall the work say of Him who made it, “He did not make me”? Or shall the thing formed say to Him who formed it, “He had no understanding”. (Isaiah 29:16b)
Woe to him who strives with his Maker — a clay pot among the clay pots of the earth! Shall the clay ask Him who fashions it, “What are You making?” or [say of] His handiwork, “He has no hands?” (Isaiah 45:9)
These verses were some of the Bible’s insights for me that were like a bright light shining into my dark confusion. These verses made me confront my discontent about who I was. It began to dawn on me, that God was the One who had made me according to His design, and that it was foolish and arrogant of me to question the work of His hands.
For many of my teenage years, I had taken in much of what ‘the world’ offered in the way of appeasing my unrest. Yet the more I followed countless voices directing me into various forms of so-called happiness and contentment, the more unhappy, depressed, and discontent I became!
But when I finally began to seek for answers in the Bible, God’s Word began to enlightened me with absolute truth about myself, and about my Creator.
By studying God’s written Word, little by little, I slowly began to stop pretending that I was wise enough to run my own life. Instead, I began to accept who I was: the design and work of God’s own hands. I began to accept who I was, with all my quirks, limitations, and interests.
I stopped asking God, “Why did You make me this way?”
I began asking God, “What do You want me to be?”
I began to seek others who were believers in the Bible. They were wise, and were able to help me learn more about God’s ways of salvation through the Saviour, Yahushua Messiah [the Hebrew name for Jesus Christ].
And now it has been many years since those days of confusion and uncertainty about myself. As the years have gone by, I have grown stronger in my understanding and faith in God’s Word, and in His immense love for me.
One of my favorite passages that has continuously helped me out of my pit of darkness and confusion is in chapter 12 of the book of Romans:
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2) And be not conformed to this world: but you, be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God. 3) For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God has dealt to every man the measure of faith. (Romans 12:1-3)
The words in this passage are such a steady and consistent reminder for me, and I have written about this passage in several posts here on this blog. This passage is rich in instruction for anyone wanting to find peace of mind and deliverance from the pit of this world’s pressures and darkness.
It is the transforming and renewing of our minds by the powerful Word of God [the Bible], that enables us to begin the journey of being ‘conformed to the image of God’s Son’ (Romans 8:29).
This journey is a lifetime journey! It is a journey of many ups and downs, many unknowables and mysteries. But the abiding conviction of God’s love for me never leaves me. Father’s infinite wisdom and perfect knowledge of me remains an unshakable belief that He will do what is truly best for me, if I will allow His Holy Spirit to work within me.
When I gave my life to the LORD through His Son, Yahushua Messiah, I finally surrendered my own self-made plans, and began to seek to be in harmony with Father’s written Word. I had many regrets from my years of following the worldly and wicked ‘wisdom’ that bombarded me. It became very clear to me that Yahushua is right about the enemy of our soul [the devil] who comes only to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10).
Nevertheless, after coming to Yahushua [Jesus], a restoration within my body and soul began. Gradually, the confusion and conflicts in my life began to slowly disappear, and in the place of all that turmoil came God’s peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).
I am much older now, and by God’s grace and mercy, a little wiser (Job 12:12). I can look back on my life, and know that I have no regrets in following the truths of the Bible — the written Word of Yahuwah Elohim [the Hebrew name for the LORD God].
When I began following His Word and conforming to His plan for my life, I discovered that He had placed many of His desires for me in my heart from a very young age. It then became a joy and a comforting peace for me, to begin fulfilling the things that I knew in my heart were truly designed for me.
“I do not find in myself the power to be happy merely by doing what I like. On the contrary, if I do nothing except what pleases my own fancy I will be miserable almost all the time. We will never be perfectly at peace with ourselves until we find our life in living for God!” —Thomas Merton
I share these things, in the hopes that others who are confused over their identity and purpose, will begin to know this one thing: Our hope of fulfilling our identity and purpose can be found only in seeking the help of Yahushua Messiah [Jesus Christ], as we are instructed in the written Word of God, the Bible.
My hope for those who are confused about their identity is that they will sincerely seek Father God, and begin to ask Him this prayer, “Help me to become what You have planned for me, from my very beginning.”
- The loving Holy Spirit – He loves you dearly!
- Trusting in Yahuwah With All Your Heart – Part 1
- The Missing Link to Finding Happiness
- When We Are Weak
- Preparing Our Heart to Seek God
- Your Body – The Temple of The Living God
- A Way That Seems Right: Avoiding the Strong Delusion
- A Way That Seems Right: Avoiding The Sin Against Our Own Body
- Is God upset with me?
- Holy Spirit Counseling – Part 1 of 6
- You are not alone – sex change regret
- Journey From Severe Anorexia to Recovery
- How to have peace with God
- The Fountain of the Water of Life
- Good News! – 3 Truths to Having Peace With God
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