Challenges and struggles are a normal part of life. We all have our share of challenges and struggles that will tend to disrupt our sense of well-being.
But we need to understand that some struggles and difficulties are good for us. We need the process of challenges because they mature us. Without such trials, we will not grow in grace and in our faith in God.
Struggles and difficulties are actually intended to draw us closer to Yahuwah [the LORD], as we seek Him for answers and relief:
Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept Your Word. It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn Your statutes. (Psalms 119:67,71)
As the above Scriptures teach us, trials are benefical, if we will seek God’s help through them! And, even in the midst of struggles, things can ‘be well‘ with us, we can have an underlying sense of peace.
Despite our trials, if things are well with us, then even in the midst of difficulties, things will somehow move along somewhat smoothly, and things will even tend to go in our favour. However, if things are not well with us, then we need to understand the Scriptural requirements for having ‘well-being.’
If things are well with us, then certain things will NOT be occurring. For the most part, we will not have a recurring, nagging uneasiness.
If things are well with us, we will not be persistently stressed-out. Instead, we will tend to have minimal stress! Indeed, this is a great benefit!
if things are not well with us, then the normal things of life will be troublesome, irritating, and usually, very stressful!
When things are not well with us, then often, there is a meaningless, irritating ‘blip’ — things just do not go smoothly! And, oftentimes, we will have an underlying sense of unsettled-ness.
A First Question
If we seem to continuously run into frustrating, troublesome irritations, then it is time to have a check-up on our well-being.
A good, first question to ask ourselves is: “Am I keeping the 5th Commandment?”
The 5th Commandment is a major KEY for things to be well with us!
Honour your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and (that) you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Honour your father and your mother, as Yahuwah [the LORD] your God has commanded you; that your days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with you, in the land which Yahuwah [the LORD] your God gives you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)
The Fifth commandment, as we learn from the Scriptures, is the commandment with built-in promises — amazing promises!! When we are faithful to honour our parents, we have these promises:
things will be well with us, and things will go well with us!
So let us consider:
- If things are not going well,
- If we keep running into irritating problems,
- If we are stressed because of persistent, meaningless interruptions,
- Then it would be wise to ask ourselves this question:
- “How am I treating my parents? Am I honouring my parents – or dishonouring them?”
Those who dishonour their parents will not have things going well with them, consistently! But those who seek to honour their parents live in the blessings of the 5th Commandment!
Honouring parents is a major element of the blessing of well-being!
Time For A Well-being Check-up
Many do not know this 5th Commandment, nor do they know how to show honour and respect to their parents. Some have had bad childhood experiences, and do not want to honour their parents.
Either way, the Fifth Commandment does not say, “Honour your parents IF they have been good to you.” There is no qualifying if in this Commandment! This commandment tells us to honour our parents, plain and simple!
If we desire to live in the wonderful blessing of things being well and going well with us, then we will periodically give ourselves this well-being check-up — checking to make sure we are honouring our parents.
Why Should We Honour Our Parents?
Honouring parents is far, far more important than many realize!
Our parents are given to us by Yahuwah [the LORD] to be our first earthly authorities. Our parents are our first, and our most intimate, authorities. They represent Yahuwah’s intimate government in our lives.
Though parents have many faults and they make lots of mistakes, Yahuwah entrusted them with children. It is their intimate position as our authority that is so very important for us to respect.
Sadly, some parents make big mistakes, and are very difficult to honour! But honoring parents does not mean we have to feel great about our parents, or that we must agree with everything they say or do.
The important thing to realize is that we are responsible for our own behavior toward our parents.
If our parents seem unworthy, or are very frustrating to us, or they are not yet right with Yahuwah, that does not matter as to our own behavior toward our parents.
- It is our own behavior that we must adjust and maintain, in order to be in harmony with God’s standards — regardless of what our parents do!
Yahuwah watches us very closely to see how we behave toward our most intimate authority. Why? Because our parents represent Yahuwah’s own intimate position of authority in our lives!
For the sake of our well-being we must understand this:
The way we treat our parents is, in essence, the way we treat Yahuwah! And this is why things will be well with us when we honour our father and our mother — it is the primary way of showing honour to God!
Yahuwah Established All Governing Authorities
Yahuwah has established all governing authorities. He tells us:
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. (Romans 13:1,2).
According to the above passage, if we resist the authorities that Yahuwah has established in our lives, we are resisting Yahuwah. It is very dangerous to resist our Heavenly Father!
Parents are the governing authority over their own children. Parents hold the unique and important position as our most intimate earthly governing authority, ordained by God.
Parents are in a class all by themselves. We are commanded by Yahuwah to honour them in a very special and unique way, showing respect for them like none others. We would do well to understand this!
Our parents are not just some unspecified people that have been chosen at random. They are God’s gift to us! Respecting their intimate position of authority is essential, if we are going to understand how to honour and respect them. And, respect and honour toward our parents is crucial for our well-being!
As I said, all parents have faults and they make numerous mistakes! No parent has ever been perfect! Many parents have issues and problems that started in their own childhood. Yet, parents are the ones given to us by Yahuwah to be our first, and most intimate, authority.
Because of their intimate position, parents do thousands of things for us! Parents do many good and caring things for us that we are completely unaware of — nurturing and providing for us!
It is our responsibility as children to honour, respect, and obey our parents. This means we are to be subject to our parents, being obedient to them in all things that, according to the Word of God, are not sinful or unlawful.
Some may say: “Wait a minute!!! You do not know my parents!!!”
Yes, some parents are unrighteous and seem very unworthy of honour. We cannot go into all the various issues regarding obedience to parents. The main point is this:
- the way we treat our parents is the way we treat God!
If we honestly desire to love and honour God, then we will make sure to maintain an attitude of respect, honour, thankfulness, and yieldedness to our parents, regardless of our parents’ personal problems. We will examine ourselves periodically, regarding our obedience to the Fifth Commandment, and see whether things are going well with us, or not.
How To Show Honour to Our Parents
Though there are many ways we can show honour to our parents, here are a few ways.
Showing honour to our parents means we will:
- Listen to our parents patiently, speaking respectfully and kindly to them; not being scornful, critical, or belittling, but being considerate of them, and thankful for them.
- Maintain good communication with our parents. Especially, we will initiate and start communication with them. We do not have to always agree with them, but we do need to maintain respectful communication with them.
- Try to fulfill their wishes for us in all things — things that are not sinful or unlawful, according to the Scriptures.
- Try to make sure their physical needs are met, as they get older.
Honouring our parents also means speaking respectfully about them.
When we try to honour our parents, honestly trying to please and serve them, doing things that give them peace-of-mind, then that is also pleasing Yahuwah!
And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. (1 John 3:22)
As this verse shows us, our prayers are heard and answered because we are keeping His commandments, doing what is pleasing to God!
What Is Needed?
In some cases, honouring our parents may require great humility and repentance on our part, by asking their forgiveness for our bad attitudes.
Honouring our parents may require that we show repentance — that is, we show by our actions, that we are sorry for our hard-hearted ways.
Perhaps we may need to consider spending more time with our parents, or calling them on the phone more often to communicate our activities.
For those whose parents have died, it may require words spoken out loud in prayer, such as, “Heavenly Father, please forgive me for being rebellious to You, and to my parents.”
Some may need to pray daily, asking Father’s help to be able to show honour and respect to parents.
For others, it may be necessary to forgive our parents, and release all bitterness toward them. We may need to say the words, “Yahuwah, I forgive my parents.” Let’s remember this word of Scripture:
But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15)
As we seek to honour our parents, let us keep in mind our main goal:
Without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
The above verse reminds us of our goal: to walk by faith, according to the Scriptures, so that we may please God!! It pleases and delights God, that we would make efforts to honour our parents, obeying the Fifth Commandment!
When we seek God’s help to repent of anger, resentment, and hatred toward our parents, and seek forgiveness too, we are taking big steps toward honouring parents!
And if we really want to be wise, and ‘go the second mile’ –— if we really want to please Yahuwah — then we will seriously consider applying the command of Colossians 3:20 to ourselves: “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
If we can go this second mile of Colossians 3:20, trusting and believing the Heavenly Father’s abundant love for us, then He will make sure to work on our behalf, working out our concerns for our good! (See 2Chronicles 16:9a; Romans 8:28.) Such efforts on our part will teach us patience, and will teach us to sincerely seek God whenever there is conflict or disagreement.
Let us also remember that most parents do not want to “take over” our lives! Most parents simply want their children happy and peaceful, walking in Yahuwah’s truths and blessings.
So let us be thankful for our parents! Let’s work at maintaining good communication with our parents, and really listen to their input. And, IF we are wise, we will be glad for their counsel (see Proverbs 1:7,8; 23:22-25).
Let’s remember this great well-being check-up — the commandment to honour our parents, so that we can truly know this blessing:“things will be well with you!”
- The Ten Commandments
- First the Natural, Then the Spiritual
- Acquiring A Teachable Heart
- Prayer – Our Life-line to the Father
- To This One Will I Look
- Breaking Generational Curses – 1 hour video by Derek Prince; includes teaching on the importance of honouring our parents