The Pain of Rejection

sad man

Have you been rejected by friends or family?

Our Saviour, Yahushua [Jesus], knew rejection. The rejection He knew made Him to be “a man of sorrows.”

The 53rd chapter of Isaiah is a description of the rejection of our Saviour — He was despised and rejected by men; and He carried our sorrows upon Himself (Isaiah 53:3,4)!

Nobody likes to be rejected. Rejection is very painful!

But it is comforting to know that our Saviour understands our grief and sorrow when we are rejected. He knows all about grief, sorrows, and the pain of rejection, because He too has been rejected — rejected by those He deeply loves. And because He was rejected, He is able to comfort us today, when we are rejected.

Rejection By Loved Ones

When we first become Believers in Messiah, and then begin to grow in our Fear of Yahuwah [the Fear of the LORD], we too are likely to become rejected by close friends and family. Some experience rejection the moment they believe in Yahushua Messiah, and become baptized. Others are not rejected until later, when they begin to follow Messiah more fully, by walking as Messiah walked (1John 2:6). But whatever the case, being rejected is indeed heart-breaking.

Rejection by outsiders, people not closely related, is not as grieving, because we can justify their lack of love for us. But when family and loved ones reject us, whom we have known for years, it is truly sorrowful. Because they are family, we take it for granted that they will always love us, and not reject us.

When problems or misunderstandings arise among family or loved ones, we assume that we will work together on the problem. We always have a hope and conviction that forgiveness and resolution will happen. The love among family and close friends is so solid and deep, that we assume personal rejection could never gain a foothold.

When we are rejected by others because of our following Yahushua Messiah, the Bible exhorts us to rejoice, because this kind of rejection is a sign that our reward is great (Luke 6:22-23). [Gulp! Rejoice when rejected? Easier said than done!]

But when we are rejected by others because of their unforgiveness, bitterness, or resentment, the picture becomes a little more difficult, and a little more grievous. This calls for much prayer, and the hope for reconciliation.

Sadly, rejection is very common today. Even when we do our best to seek a resolution, nothing seems to work. Along with the rejection come the many questions: “What did I do wrong? Why are they rejecting me? What is wrong with me? What can I do to fix this?” Rejection leaves us in a state of uncertainty. We feel all alone, while sitting in a pool of sorrow, and grieving.

When all hope for reconciliation seems lost, we become astonished at how such rejection could happen. When those we love deeply, and have known and loved for years, spurn us, avoid conversation with us, and ignore our presence, we become grieved, and full of pain. When we are faint with sorrow, it is then that we remember that we need the presence of Yahuwah’s Holy Spirit to comfort us. Like Jonah in the belly of the great fish (Jonah 2:7), we remember Yahuwah, and cry out for the heavenly Father’s comfort and healing!

Strong Crying and Tears

We know in our heart that Yahuwah is our faithful, compassionate, and merciful Father. We know He hears our prayers! We know He is able to help us. But oh how hard it is to wait, and to trust Him to bring some healing and reconciliation!! The ache in our heart seems to be so permanent.

Father wants us to remember . . .  that just as we are weeping with strong crying and tears over our own sufferings, so also Yahushua has done the same:

Who [Yahushua Messiah] in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto Him [His Abba Father] who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His reverent fear. (Hebrews 5:7)

Yahushua knows what it is like to suffer the pain and heartache of rejection. If Yahushua prayed with strong crying and tears, and was heard because of His reverent fear of Yahuwah, then this is reassuring for us. This is hope in the midst of despair.

Father tells us that He hears the cries of the humble, those who reverently fear Him! (Psalms 9:12 Psalms 34:7; Psalms 145:19).

And as we saw in He Inclined His Ear Unto Me, when Father hears us, then we can be sure He will answer us! (See 1John 5:15; Psalms 86:7; Psalms 91:15) What mercy and comfort He provides for His children, if we will cry out to Him for understanding, comfort, and relief!

Father Restores

If we have done our part, by seeking to make amends with our loved ones (Matthew 18:15), confessing any of our own wrong attitudes and words, and yet the rejection remains — then we can only place ourselves before Father, and trust in Him to work out a restoration in His time. If the rejection continues, then prayers for restoration is our only recourse. We have come to the end of our own strength, and now prayer is our only option — praying often, hoping, waiting, and trusting in Yahuwah, to bring resolution.

This time of waiting is so difficult!! How can I continue this wait, for something that seems so impossible?

But waiting for Yahuwah’s timing, and for His resolution, is the goal. And it is through our continued prayers for those who hold bitterness, rejection, or unforgiveness — and our patient waiting for Father’s timing — that Yahuwah will strengthen us! Notice what Yahuwah has promised:

Wait on Yahuwah [the LORD]: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on Yahuwah [the LORD]! (Psalms 27:14)

Our soul waits for Yahuwah [the LORD]: He is our help and our shield. (Psalms 33:20)

This waiting period for Father to work is a necessary ingredient in bringing about restoration. It is also an important time for us to examine ourselves, and to make any needed adjustments to our own attitudes (Psalms 139:23). Indeed, it is a time for remembering also, the many who have endured and suffered through periods of waiting on Yahuwah’s timing.

During this waiting period, we may have several things come to mind that give us more understanding into the situation. But perhaps best of all, by our waiting on Yahuwah, we grow in humility of heart, by acknowledging that it is His work to restore, and not our work.

Our job is to pray, and His job is to answer in the way He chooses. He alone holds the solution. (See Deut. 30:2,3; Psalms 23:3; Psalms 51:12; Isaiah 57:18; Jeremiah 30:17; Joel 2:25)

Down through history, multitudes have waited for healing, deliverance, and restoration. Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Samuel, David, all had to cry out in humble prayer, and then wait — wait for Father’s answer to prayer.  Praying, waiting, and enduring — painful things to do, yet so necessary. They help us to know our Saviour better, they train us to know, and appreciate, the fellowship of His sufferings that He endured, on our behalf (Philippians 3:10).

Oh Father, help me remember that Yahushua, because He too was despised and rejected, can thoroughly understand my agony and weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15).

Father is Waiting

Abba Father Himself is waiting too for an end to rejection. He is waiting for His own children to end their rejection of Him, of His Word, and of His Son, Yahushua Messiah.

We all have varying levels of rejection toward Yahuwah, most based on misunderstandings of His Word. Because we were born with the tendency to sin, we start out by being afraid of God, and we tend to run away from Him, just as Adam did in the Garden (Genesis 3:9-10).

But by Father’s love and mercy, He has redeemed us by His blood, and His goodness has led us to repentance. Let us therefore make sure that we are not harboring any rejection toward Him. This is a step toward understanding our own need for acceptance.

Let us be praying that our heart will fully accept Abba Father and His truth, and to wait patiently for His restoration:

Father, forgive me for any rejection I have harbored against You, or against Your Word. Help me to fully accept You in every way. Help me, Father, to draw near to You for Your strength and endurance. Help me to accept Your timing for restoration between me and my loved ones. In Yahushua’s name I pray.

Rejection is painful. But Father understands our pain. By His mercy and grace, let us continue trusting in Him, going to Him for comfort, for He well knows the pain of rejection!

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